Life

Life would be easier if you could mark people as spam.

My doctor told me to start killing people. Well not in those exact words. He said I had to reduce stress in my life. Same thing.

Every day of my life forces me to add another name to the list of people who can kiss my fucking ass.

KARMASUTRA: When life fucks you in all sorts of creative ways.

Nobody dies a virgin. Life fucks us all. – Kurt Cobain

Maybe it’s not life that sucks. Maybe it’s just the people you let in your life that suck.

Before sex, you help each other get naked. After sex, you only dress yourself. Moral of the story: in life no one helps you once you’re fucked.

Life is like a dick. Sometimes it’s up… Sometimes it’s down…But it won’t be hard forever.

Every time I say “Life can’t get more fucked up”. Life replies, “Challenge accepted”.

Life is like toilet paper, you’re either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole.