Life

Pretty sure I’ve spent about a third of my life saying "What the fuck is wrong with people".

Pretty sure…

Never try to fuck up someone's life with the lie when yours can be destroyed with the truth.

Never try…

Remember, if you have an issue with me I will never give a flying fuck. My life, my rules. Can’t handle it? Fuck the fuck off.

Remember…

Dear life, when I said "can my day get any worse" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

Dear life…

Life belongs to those who don’t give a fuck.

Life belongs to those…

I've come to the point in my life where I need a stronger word than fuck.

I’ve come to the point…

If they were really trying to prepare high school kids for "Real Life", they'd offer a class called "Working with assholes".

If they were…

Dear life, could you at least start using lubricant?

Dear life…

When life puts you in tough situations don't say "why me" say "try me".

When life puts you…

They said life is too short to hold grudges. I think life too short to be letting people get away with the same shit.

They said life is too short…