Life

From the moment I saw you, I knew I was gonna spend the rest of my life avoiding you.

From the moment…

Life is about saying “FUCK IT” to those who matter, and “FUCK YOU” to those who don’t.

Life is…

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

If you have an opinion…

Of course life is a bitch. If it was a slut it would be easy.

Of course life is a bitch…

Life is a dick, sometimes it gets hard for no reason.

Life is a dick…

Let me be perfectly clear. The only asshole I want in my life is the one I was born with.

Let me be perfectly clear…

Life is a lot like a penis. Simple, soft, straight, relaxed and hanging freely… then woman makes it hard.

Life is a lot like…

I would rather be known in life as an Honest Sinner, than a Lying Hypocrite.

I would rather be known…

My entire life can be summed up in one sentence: “Well, that didn’t go as planned” – Darynda Jones

My entire life…

Life would be easier if you could mark people as spam.

Life would be easier…