Life

I am sorry, I didn't realize that you're an expert on my life and how I should live it. Please continue while I take notes.

I am sorry…

Life is so much easier when you just don't give a shit.

Life is so much easier…

TWO THINGS: 1. Where have you been all my life? 2. Can you please go back there?

TWO THINGS…

You can't always control who walks into your life. But you can control which window you throw them out of.

You can’t always control…

Life is about kicking ass, not kissing it.

Life is about…

Learn a lesson from your dog. No matter what life brings you, kick some grass over that shit and move on.

Learn a lesson…

I've reached a point where I can't tell if I'm actually dealing with life better or simply don't give a fuck anymore.

I’ve reached a point…

Whoever said the customer is always right has never worked with the public a day in their freaking life!

Whoever said…

Smoking a cigarette reduces life by 5 min. Laughing increases life by 10 min. A laughing smoker never dies.

Smoking…

Life isn’t like a box of chocolates. It’s more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow. – Larry the Cable Guy

Life…