Life

Love is spending the rest of your life with someone you want to kill and not doing it because you’d miss them.

Love is…

I don’t get nearly enough credit in life for all the things I manage not to say. - Meg Rosoff

I don’t get nearly enough…

I wish pets lived longer, life wasn't so expensive, cake didn't make you fat and people weren't idiots.

I wish pets lived longer…

I wonder how long is life going to fuck me until it just wants to cuddle?

I wonder how long…

Them: You’re fucking psychopath. Me: At least I’m on a path. Sort your life out motherfuckers.

Them: You’re fucking psychopath…

Stop complaining about your life. There people out there dating your ex.

Stop complaining…

At least life wants to fuck me.

At least life wants…

Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting “Holy shit... what a ride!”

Life’s journey…

I’m not saying I hate you but I’d unplug your life support to charge my phone.

I’m not saying I hate you…

Too many people are walking around unmedicated, unsupervised, and affecting my life.

Too many people…