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Listen

Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sound of their chewing because that's the soundtrack to the rest of your life.

Before marrying someone…

If you didn't hear it from the horse’s mouth, stop listening to the ass who told you.

If you didn’t hear it…

Me pretending to listen should be enough for you.

Me pretending…

If I wanted to listen to an asshole, I would fart.

If I wanted to listen…

Before you speak, listen. Before you act, think. Before you give up try. Before you take a shit, make sure there is toilet paper.

Before you speak…

Listen, smile, agree. And then do whatever the fuck you were gonna do anyway. – Robert Downey Jr.

Listen, smile, agree…