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Love

Remember, Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks you're an asshole.

Remember…

Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, then it's probably shit.

Love is like a fart…

Mom says: "Alcohol is your enemy". Jesus says: "Love your enemy". Case closed

Mom says…

I love everybody. Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid, and others I'd love to punch in the face.

I love everybody…

They say "do what you love and money will follow". So I ate cheesecake and drank some wine... Now I wait.

They say…

Women fall in love with what they hear. Men fall in love with what they see. That's why women wear makeup and men lie.

Women fall in love…

People say love is the best feeling. But I think finding a toilet when you are having diarrhea is better.

People say love is the best feeling…

I love it when people insult me. It means I don’t have to play nice anymore. – Billy Idol

I love it…

Stop telling everybody I’m fucking crazy. I love to see the surprises on their faces when they figure it out by themselves.

Stop telling everybody…

I love making people who don’t like me hate me more by just being me.

I love making people…