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Man

Just because you have a beard, it doesn’t mean you’re a man. Vaginas can grow hair too.

Just because you have a beard…

A foolish man complains about his torn pocket, while a wise man uses it to scratch his balls.

A foolish man complains…

Women are like iPhones: you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberries: rub one ball and everything moves.

Women are like iPhones…

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “smell this”, it usually smells nice.

One big difference…

Single girls, please stop saying you should give up and get a cat. If no man wants you, please don’t force an innocent cat to live with you.

Single girls, please stop…

I never understand men who pay dominatrixes to degrade them. Just get married and fold the towels wrong, mate.

I never understand men…

BOOBS. Absolute proof that a man can in fact concentrate on two things at the same time.

BOOBS…

You know what’s sexier than a bad boy? A grown ass man with his shit together.

You know what’s sexier…

Women have to deal with menstruation, pregnancy, childbirth, brestfeeding, menopause, hot-flashes, etc etc. Men have to deal with women. Tie.

Women have to deal…

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

Few women admit…