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Miss

People: “You’re so boring.” ME: “Listen, I spent my youth drinking, partying with strangers, and making decisions that should’ve had me on a missing persons list or in jail. I’m not boring. I’m retired.”

People: “You’re so boring…

Don’t ever make me choose between alcohol and you. I will miss you when I’m drunk.

Don’t ever make me…

Never miss a good chance to shut up. - Will Rogers

Never miss…

Love is spending the rest of your life with someone you want to kill and not doing it because you’d miss them.

Love is…

It’s cute how the say “missed calls” instead of "avoided calls".

It’s cute…

If I promise to miss you, will you go away?

If I promise to miss you…

I miss you like an idiot misses the point.

I miss you…

What to do if you miss your ex? Reload and shoot again.

What to do…