Mom

It’s like my mom always said, “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

It’s like my mom always said…

Ever look at someone and think... “Your Mom’s eggs had to be expired”

Ever look at someone…

Mom says: "Alcohol is your enemy". Jesus says: "Love your enemy". Case closed

Mom says…

Women won't date a guy that still lives with his mom, but will date a man that still lives with his wife.

Women won’t date…