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Morning

There are three types of mornings: early, too early, and what the hell am I doing up.

There are three types of mornings…

You party until the morning. I party until I’m a felon. We’re not the same.

You party…

I never understood how much some people can talk early in the morning, I mean to have brain so efficacious. Anything you can extract from mine is: shut the fuck up!

I never understood…

I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to fuck me up.

I like my mornings…

Every morning is another chance to have a less awful day.

Every morning…

The only thing worse than mornings are “morning people”.

The only thing worse…

A fun thing to do in the morning is not talk to me.

A fun thing to do…

Boss: Good morning. Me: You need to calm the fuck down.

BOSS…

Good morning to some of you... Fuck you to the rest.

Good morning…

You know why birds sing in the morning? Because they don't have to go to fucking work.

You know why…