Morning

I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to fuck me up.

Every morning is another chance to have a less awful day.

The only thing worse than mornings are “morning people”.

A fun thing to do in the morning is not talk to me.

BOSS: Good morning. ME: You need to calm the fuck down.

Good morning to some of you… Fuck you to the rest.

You know why birds sing in the morning? Because they don’t have to go to fucking work.

When people tell me “You’re gonna regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

I always say “Morning” instead of “Good Morning” because if it was a good morning I would still be in my bed and not talking to people.

Sometimes in the morning while sipping my coffee, I think about all the people I’m going to piss off today… and I smile.