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Murder

When someone is murdered, the police investigate the spouse first. And that tells you everything you need to know about marriage.

When someone is murdered…

If I’m ever murdered, just know I ran my mouth to the bitter end.

If I’m ever murdered…

Sarcasm. Because murder charges are expensive

Sarcasm…

I’m afraid if I give up sarcasm, I would have to replace it with murder.

I’m afraid if I give up sarcasm…

I can’t go around murdering people, so my hilarious put dows will have to do.

I can’t go around…