Grow old with your best friends so you can race in wheelchairs and fight each other with canes.
So when is this “old enough to know better supposed to kick in”?
Getting old is weird because you’re still that same enthusiastic kid trapped in a shitshow of a body.
To be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid.
The older you get the more you appreciate being at home not doing a fucking thing.
You’re never too old to try something stupid.
Act my age? What the fuck is that “act my age?” What do I care how old I am? The ocean is old as fuck. It will still drown your ass with vigor.
You know you’re getting old when you barely do anything all day, but still need to have a nap to continue to do barely anything.
Dr’s say that drinking 8 glasses of water a day helps your skin look younger. My advice: Drink 8 glasses of wine a day an you won’t give a damn how old you look.
You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking “I might as well pee while I’m here”.
