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Pee

You know you're getting old when you can't walk past a bathroom without thinking "I might as well pee while I'm here".

You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking “I might as well pee while I’m here”.

Bitch Please, I'm so freaking fabulous, I pee glitter, shit cupcakes, and fart rainbows.

Bitch Please, I’m so freaking fabulous, I pee glitter, shit cupcakes, and fart rainbows.

Why does the need to pee intensify by a million when you are trying to unlock the door to your house?

Why does the need to pee intensify by a million when you are trying to unlock the door to your house?

With age come new skills... You can laugh, cough, sneeze, and pee all at the same time.

With age come new skills. You can laugh, cough, sneeze, and pee all at the same time.

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat it or play with it, then pee on it and walk away.

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat it or play with it, then pee on it and walk away.