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It isn't that I'm not a people person, I'm just not a stupid people person.

It isn’t that I’m not a people person, I’m just not a stupid people person.

I am an extreme person, the only middle I know is a finger and it says to hell with everything.

I am an extreme person, the only middle I know is a finger and it says to hell with everything.

The only person who listens to both sides of an argument is the next door neighbor.

The only person who listens to both sides of an argument is the next door neighbor.

My goal is to be that old person that everyone is afraid to take out in public.

My goal is to be that old person that everyone is afraid to take out in public.

Pre - annoyed: You knew this person is about to piss you off even before they say anything.

Pre – annoyed: You knew this person is about to piss you off even before they say anything.

I am a nice person. Just don't push the asshole button.

I am a nice person. Just don’t push the asshole button.

opinions are like farts, everyone else’s stinks, they are hard to hold in and when you let one go, at least one person will leave the room

Opinions are like farts, everyone else’s stinks, they are hard to hold in and when you let one go, at least one person will leave the room.

Being a good person doesn't mean you have to put up with other people's crap all the time.

Being a good person doesn’t mean you have to put up with other people’s crap all the time.

Listen, drunk me and sober me are not the same person. So if drunk me said or did something, you have to take it up with drunk me. Don't come at sober me. We weren't there. We don't know what happened.

Listen, drunk me and sober me are not the same person. So if drunk me said or did something, you have to take it up with drunk me. Don’t come at sober me. We weren’t there. We don’t know what happened.

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is just a fucking twat waffle and isn't worth your time.

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is just a fucking twat waffle and isn’t worth your time.