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Plan

I don’t really have a plan. I rely solely on caffeine and weirdness to get me through the day.

I don’t really have a plan…

The only reason I wanted to be an adult was to have sex and curse. All this paying bills and waking up to go to work wasn’t the plan.

The only reason…

I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice in my head says "Haha good one!", and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.

I wake up everyday…

I know sometime life just sucks. Things don’t work out the way you planned, because there is no instruction manual. But even if there was, life would suck even more, because it would be pretty damn boring.

I know sometime life just sucks…

I plan my whole day around the possibility of a nap.

I plan my whole day…

I hate it when the voices in my head go silent… I never know what those fuckers are planning.

I hate it…

Treat everyone you meet with dignity and respect, but have a plan to kill them, just in case.

Treat everyone…

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans. – Woody Allen

If you want to make God laugh…

Trust me, when I woke up today, I had no plans to be awesome. But shit happens.

Trust me…

I don't like making plans for the day because then the word "premeditated" gets thrown around in the courtroom.

I don’t like…