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Prison

A wedding ring is the smallest handcuff ever made. Choose your prison mate wisely.

A wedding ring…

Here is a reminder before you lose your shit today. They don’t serve alcohol in prison.

Here is a reminder…

I just laugh stuff off because prison don't cook the food I like.

I just laugh…

Next time you're feeling down remember life is all about perspective. I have a friend who has sex 2-3 times a day, exercises twice a day, reads two books a week yet every day he complains about how much he hates prison.

Next time you’re feeling…

When one door closes and another opens, you are probably in prison.

When one door closes…

Being kissed while you’re asleep is one of the purest forms of love... Unless you’re in prison.

Being kissed…

I avoid shit because I’m afraid of me, not you. Temper go from zero to prison real fast.

I avoid shit…

Sometimes you just have to close your eyes, count to ten, take a deep breath, remind yourself that you wouldn’t look good in prison stripes and just smile at the dumbass and walk away.

Sometimes you just have to…

Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to. Unless you’re in prison.

Surprise sex…