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Relationship

Relationship status: My pinky toe gets banged more than I do.

Relationship status…

They said the only way to get over a broken heart is to fall in love again. So I fell in love with myself. Best fucking relationship in my life.

They said the only way to get over…

Getting into relationship may seem tempting, but so was getting on the Titanic and look what happened there.

Getting into relationship…

How to break up nicely: I think it’s time we take this relationship to the previous level.

How to break up nicely…

I was asked what I look for in a relationship... Apparently “a way out” wasn’t the right answer.

I was asked…

Relationships are like fine wine. They're expensive and eventually you just end up with a headache.

Relationships…

“Relationship” has 12 letters. So does “Fuck that shit”.

“Relationship”…

How do people fake entire relationships? I can’t even fake a fucking "hello" to people I don’t like.

How do people fake…

The only thing I will force in my life is my jeans over my ass. Not friends, not relationships.

The only thing…

ALWAYS BE YOURSELF. (except during job interviews, the first few month of a relationship, or any type of social interaction)

ALWAYS BE YOURSELF…