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Remember

Sometimes I wonder why I don't have many friends. Then I hear some of the stupid shit that comes out of people's mouths and I remember.

Sometimes I wonder why I don’t have many friends. Then I hear some of the stupid shit that comes out of people’s mouths and I remember.

REMEMBER no one is perfect. Everyone’s ass has a crack in it.

REMEMBER: No one is perfect. Everyone’s ass has a crack in it.

If you’re going to be an ass, remember to be a smart one, not a dumb one.

If you’re going to be an ass, remember to be a smart one, not a dumb one.

If you want to be remembered, don’t act nice. Act like an asshole. Nobody forgets assholes.

If you want to be remembered, don’t act nice. Act like an asshole. Nobody forgets assholes.

Sometimes I just don’t feel like getting out of bed… Then I remember I have people to piss off and prove wrong.

Sometimes I just don’t feel like getting out of bed… Then I remember I have people to piss off and prove wrong.

If someone throws a stone at you, throw a flower at them. But remember to throw the flower pot with it.

If someone throws a stone at you, throw a flower at them. But remember to throw the flower pot with it.

For all the women that brag about how many men want them, just remember the cheapest prices attract the most customers.

For all the women that brag about how many men want them, just remember the cheapest prices attract the most customers.

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming clearly? I feel that way about too many people.

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming clearly? I feel that way about too many people.