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I just want to say to anyone I may have offended yesterday, you can go fuck yourself again today.

I just want to say…

Cops never say “Thanks for committing crimes and keeping us employed”. Fucking assholes.

Cops never say…

If a man says “fine”, means the war is over. If a woman says “fine”, means the war just started.

If a man says “fine”…

I say “fuck” so much I literally forgot it offends some people.

I say “fuck” so much…

I'm gonna say what I want until someone beats my ass. Then I'm gonna say what I want with a black eye.

I’m gonna say…

I lose track of how many times per day I want to turn and say, “you can't seriously be that fucking stupid”.

I lose track…

I just wanna say to anybody I ever did wrong... fuck you, you did something to me first.

I just wanna say…

When I say “have a nice day”, remember that the “fucker” is silent.

When I say “have a nice day”…

Just say fuck it and sprinkle little magic on it.

Just say fuck…

You can always count on me to say the shit I shouldn't say.

You can always count on me…