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Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.
My favorite sexual position is pretty much any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.
Life is like sex, you can either lay back and let it screw you, or you can get on top and ride the hell out of it.
During sex, it’s perfectly fine to say “yeah”, “yes”, and “oh yes”, but how awkward would it be if someone kept screaming “yep”.
The only BS I need in my life is BEER and SEX.
When 3 people have sex, it’s called a threesome. When 2 people have sex, it’s called a twosome. Now I understand why they call you handsome.
Do you know what sexual position produces the ugliest children? Go ask your mother.
You know the sex is good when it sounds like running in flip flops.
I’m addicted to sex, so I guess I have fucking problem.
I swear some people must have been conceived through anal sex. There is no way being that much of an asshole is natural.