Sleep

As an adult, I can literally do whatever I want to, but I always end up wanting just go to sleep.

As an adult…

If you can’t sleep at night, it’s usually because you’re awake. Hope this helps.

If you can’t sleep…

Only kids count sheep to fall asleep. Count your debts, your mistakes, your heartache and cry yourself to sleep like a grownup.

Only kids count sheep…

Husband hack: Next time you’re in a fight with your wife, start undressing. She will instantly have a headache and fall asleep.

Husband hack…

Their opinion doesn’t sleep in your bed at night, so don’t let it fuck with you.

Their opinion…

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to "fall asleep right now".

Insomnia…

When people say they slept like a baby, does that mean they woke up 3 times that night screaming and shit their pants?

When people say…

The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep.

The future…

Every woman’s dream is that a man will take her in his arms, throw her into bed, and clean the whole house while she sleeps.

Every woman’s dream…

Think whatever you like of me if it helps you sleep at night. In the end I get to keep my integrity while you feed your own bullshit to stay alive.

Think whatever you like…