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Sleep

When people say they slept like a baby, does that mean they woke up 3 times that night screaming and shit their pants?

When people say they slept like a baby, does that mean they woke up 3 times that night screaming and shit their pants?

The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep.

The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep.

Every woman’s dream is that a man will take her in his arms, throw her into bed, and clean the whole house while she sleeps.

Every woman’s dream is that a man will take her in his arms, throw her into bed, and clean the whole house while she sleeps.

Think whatever you like of me if it helps you sleep at night. In the end I get to keep my integrity while you feed your own bullshit to stay alive.

Think whatever you like of me if it helps you sleep at night. In the end I get to keep my integrity while you feed your own bullshit to stay alive.

Sleep well middle finger, you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

Sleep well middle finger, you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

“How do you sleep at night knowing people don’t like you?” With no underwear in case they want to kiss my ass.

“How do you sleep at night knowing people don’t like you?” With no underwear in case they want to kiss my ass.

I am not always rude and sarcastic. Sometimes I am asleep.

I am not always rude and sarcastic. Sometimes I am asleep.

Fall in love? No, thank you. I'd much rather fall asleep.

Fall in love? No, thank you. I’d much rather fall asleep.

A baby can drink a bottle, fall asleep and people say its cute. If I do it, I'm an alcoholic.

A baby can drink a bottle, fall asleep and people say its cute. If I do it, I’m an alcoholic.

Love is cuddling until you fall asleep together... Even though you know he farts in his sleep... All damn night.

Love is cuddling until you fall asleep together… Even though you know he farts in his sleep… All damn night.