Swear

My swear jar could finance the fucking space program.

My swear jar…

I swear some people need a stamp on their forehead that says "DO NOT REPRODUCE".

I swear…

Switch up your swear words. Keep them potent. Call someone a piece of fuck. Tell someone to go shit themselves. Keep the magic alive.

Switch up your swear words…

Whoever invented swear words is my fucking hero.

Whoever invented…

You call them swear words. I call them sentence enhancers.

You call them…

What can I say.. I swear like a saylor and use a please and thank you like a saint. I’m complicated.

What can I say…

If you don't swear when you drive then you aren't paying enough attention to the road.

If you don’t swear…

Studies have shown that intelligent people swear more than stupid motherfuckers.

Studies have shown…

The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, doesn't swear, doesn't get angry, doesn't exist.

The ideal man…

Just because I swear doesn't mean I don't have manners. I say "please" when I tell someone to fuck off.

Just because I swear…