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Don’t drink and drive because there are people who text and drive... and they will hit you and it will be your fault.

Don’t drink and drive…

If I drunk text you… don’t text me the next morning and ask what I meant. I’m just as confused as you are.

If I drunk text you…

If someone drunk texts you, appreciate it. They are thinking of you when they can barely think straight.

If someone drunk…

Nobody texts faster than a pissed off female.

Nobody texts faster…

Did you know if you text your boss “Go Fuck Yourself” you don’t have to go to work anymore?

Did you know…