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I hate when I lose things at work. Like my favorite pen or my fucking will to live.

I hate…

Sometimes I feel sorry for judgemental people and their boring lives. Other times I'm jealous. I wish I had that much time to worry about things that are none of my business.

Sometimes I feel sorry…

Don't underestimate Joe's ability to fuck things up. ― Barack Obama

Don’t underestimate…

I don’t get nearly enough credit in life for all the things I manage not to say. - Meg Rosoff

I don’t get nearly enough…

It takes me 5-7 business years to get over things so don't piss me off.

It takes me 5-7…

Everything happens for a reason except the things you fuck up yourself.

Everything happens…

If you’re gonna talk bad about me, invite me. I’ll tell more bad things.

If you’re gonna talk bad…

You should give a fuck. You really should, but only about things that set your soul on fire. Set your fucks for magical shit.

You should give a fuck…

Give me coffee to change the things I can and wine to accept those that I cannot.

Give me coffee…

A simple hello could lead to a million things. Like butt touches.

A simple hello…