Toilet Paper

Patience is like a toilet roll – the bigger asshole you are dealing with, the quicker it runs out.

Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer to the end the faster it goes.

Some people speak so much crap, it’s difficult to know whether to offer them toilet paper or a breath mint.

You talk so much shit. I don’t know whether to offer you a breath mint or toilet paper.

People are assholes. Just make sure you’re not the toilet paper.

There’s just not enough toilet paper in the world to clean up all this crap some people create. – Susan Gale

You never appreciate what you have till it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

Don’t act like you never waddled across the house to get a new roll of toilet paper with your pants around your ankles.

People who talk shit will be reincarnated as toilet paper.

Before you speak, listen. Before you act, think. Before you give up try. Before you take a shit, make sure there is toilet paper.