Unicorn

I’ve got a better chance finding a unicorn than I do of going through a whole day without dealing with some fucktard.

I’ve got a better chance…

Every time a woman shaves her legs and doesn’t get laid, a unicorn dies.

Every time a woman shaves…

Grow up. Be unicorn. Stab people with your head.

Grow up…

My spirit animal is a slightly deranged unicorn who has a mission to poke holes in all of the annoying people.

My spirit animal…

Women don’t fart. They do however shoot tiny puffs of glitter, that sound like a unicorn’s laughter and smell like rainbows.

Women don’t fart…