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There are two types of people in this world: People you want to drink with and people who make you want to drink.

There are two types…

Successful adulting: Not stabbing someone when you really want to.

SUCCESSFUL ADULTING…

If a woman says, “do what you want”, do not do what you want. Stand still, don’t blink, don’t answer, don’t even breathe. Just play dead.

If a woman says…