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Wish

Brains are awesome. I wish everybody had one.

Brains are awesome…

I wish pets lived longer, life wasn't so expensive, cake didn't make you fat and people weren't idiots.

I wish pets lived longer…

I wish I lacked common sense. They all seem so happy.

I wish…

I wish common sence was more common.

I wish…

I wish I had as much confidence as my cat does when he licks his ass in the middle of a room full of people.

I wish I had…

Do you ever wish you could kill someone, then bring them back to life and say, “See! Stop fucking with me”.

Do you ever wish…

I wish offended people would react like fainting goats and quietly tip over.

I wish…

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love getting drunk and eating everything.

I wish I loved exercise…

If I had one wish I would ask for a big enough ass for the whole world to kiss.

If I had one wish…

I wish people would ask me if I give a fuck before they started talking to me.

I wish people would ask…