Wish

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love getting drunk and eating everything.

I wish I loved exercise…

If I had one wish I would ask for a big enough ass for the whole world to kiss.

If I had one wish…

I wish people would ask me if I give a fuck before they started talking to me.

I wish people would ask…

I wish everyone would just tell each other, "It’s ok. I don't know what I'm fucking doing either".

I wish…

Some people make me wish I had more middle fingers.

Some people make me wish…

I wish running from my problems would burn calories.

I wish…

I wish everything was as easy as getting fat.

I wish…

According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you’re actually a few million years late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams.

According to astronomy…

I wish people were like money, so you could hold them up to the light to see which ones are real and which ones are fake.

I wish…

Rude, Sarcastic, Funny Quotes, Thoughts, Sayings

I never wish…