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Wish

I wish common sence was more common.

I wish…

I wish I had as much confidence as my cat does when he licks his ass in the middle of a room full of people.

I wish I had…

Do you ever wish you could kill someone, then bring them back to life and say, “See! Stop fucking with me”.

Do you ever wish…

I wish offended people would react like fainting goats and quietly tip over.

I wish…

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love getting drunk and eating everything.

I wish I loved exercise…

If I had one wish I would ask for a big enough ass for the whole world to kiss.

If I had one wish…

I wish people would ask me if I give a fuck before they started talking to me.

I wish people would ask…

I wish everyone would just tell each other, "It’s ok. I don't know what I'm fucking doing either".

I wish…

Some people make me wish I had more middle fingers.

Some people make me wish…

I wish running from my problems would burn calories.

I wish…