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Woman

Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. - George Carlin

Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. – George Carlin

A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are. - Chauncey Depew

A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are. – Chauncey Depew

Men, if you ever want to know what a woman's mind feels like, imagine a browser with 2576 tabs open. ALL THE TIME.

Men, if you ever want to know what a woman’s mind feels like, imagine a browser with 2576 tabs open. ALL THE TIME.

How come when a woman is pregnant everyone rubs her stomach and says congratulations but no one rubs your balls and says good job?

How come when a woman is pregnant everyone rubs her stomach and says congratulations but no one rubs your balls and says good job?

Never pick a fight with a woman older than 40. They are full of rage and sick of everyone's shit.

Never pick a fight with a woman older than 40. They are full of rage and sick of everyone’s shit.

Women don’t fart. They do however shoot tiny puffs of glitter, that sound like a unicorn’s laughter and smell like rainbows.

Women don’t fart. They do however shoot tiny puffs of glitter, that sound like a unicorn’s laughter and smell like rainbows.

WE NEED TO TALK: Women's secret code for haha sorry, you're fucked.

WE NEED TO TALK: Women’s secret code for haha sorry, you’re fucked.

THE 5 STAGES OF WOMAN'S LIFE: 1. To grow up, 2. To fill out, 3. To slim down, 4. To hold it in, 5. To hell with it.

THE 5 STAGES OF WOMAN’S LIFE: 1. To grow up, 2. To fill out, 3. To slim down, 4. To hold it in, 5. To hell with it.

Women won't date a guy that still lives with his mom, but will date a man that still lives with his wife.

Women won’t date a guy that still lives with his mom, but will date a man that still lives with his wife.

I'm honestly convinced some women don't fart. They just hold it in, and it comes out as drama.

I’m honestly convinced some women don’t fart. They just hold it in, and it comes out as drama.