Woman

The most dangerous animal in the world is a smiling woman sitting in silence.

The most dangerous animal…

Women fall in love with what they hear. Men fall in love with what they see. That's why women wear makeup and men lie.

Women fall in love…

There is a big difference between a QUIET woman and a SILENT woman. The first one is a miracle. The second one is a time bomb.

There is a big difference…

Women fake orgasms to have relationships. Men fake relationships to have orgasms.

Women fake orgasms…

If a woman says, “do what you want”, do not do what you want. Stand still, don’t blink, don’t answer, don’t even breathe. Just play dead.

If a woman says…

One woman’s “fuck him” is another woman’s “finally”.

One woman’s “fuck him”…

If a woman tells you that you’re right, that’s called sarcasm.

If a woman tells…

Nobody texts faster than a pissed off female.

Nobody texts faster…

For all the women that brag about how many men want them, just remember the cheapest prices attract the most customers.

For all the women…

Condoms don’t guarantee safe sex. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman’s husband.

Condoms…