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Work

Killing someone with kindness sounds like a lot of work to me.

Killing someone with kindness…

When someone calls me an “asshole” I get this warm feeling inside because my work here is done.

When someone calls me…

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.

I always arrive late…

Life is too short to wake up in a bad mood. I save mine for when I get to work.

Life is too short…

I may not be much help in telling you what works. But I sure have fucked up enough to tell you what doesn't.

I may not be much help…

Somewhere right now someone is thinking about an excuse not to go to work tomorrow.

Somewhere right now…

You know why birds sing in the morning? Because they don't have to go to fucking work.

You know why…

I don’t mind coming to work, but this eight hour wait to go home is just bulshit.

I don’t mind…

Did you ever look at one of your co-workers and think how the fuck do you work here?

Did you ever look…

Whoever said the customer is always right has never worked with the public a day in their freaking life!

Whoever said…