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Your ass must get jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth.
You talk so much shit. I don't know whether to offer you a breath mint or toilet paper.
You can not unfuck what has been fucked!
You can be a good person with a beautiful spirit and still be able to tell someone to go fuck themselves when needed.
Word of the day: EXHAUSTIPATED. Too tired to give a shit.
Whoever thinks money doesn't buy happiness, transfer that shit to my account.
When in doubt, remember "FISH": Fuck It, Shit Happens.
When I was a kid, I wanted to be older. This shit is not what I expected.
When I get mad at someone, I'm silent. Because if I speak my mind, shit is gonna get real.
When a male octopus finds a mate, he rips off his penis and throws it at the female so she can inseminate herself, then he grows a new penis. If that isn't the most epic way to tell someone to "go fuck yourself" I don't know what is.
What did one butt cheek say to the other? Together we can stop that shit.
We’re all being judged by someone who isn’t even close to having their own shit together.