Half the day, I wonder if it’s too late for coffee. The other half, I wonder if it’s too early for alcohol.
I am not made of sugar and spice and everything nice. Sarcasm, alcohol, anger issues and carbs is more accurate.
When I drink alcohol, everyone says I’m an alcoholic. But when I drink fanta, no one says I’m fantastic.
I pretend to like people everyday. It’s called being an adult. That’s why we’re allowed to buy alcohol.
At this point in my life I am positive some people were put on this earth to test my alcohol tolerance level.
Life has never given me lemons. It has given me anger issues, anxiety attacks, a love of alcohol and serious dislike for stupid people, but no lemons.