Ass

You have one advantage over me. You can kiss my ass and I can't.

You have one advantage over me. You can kiss my ass and I can’t.

Your flexibility amazes me. How do you get your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass all at the same time?

Your flexibility amazes me. How do you get your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass all at the same time?

Your ass must get jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth.

Your ass must get jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth.

How do you sleep knowing people don't like you? ME: Butt ass naked with the fun on high.

How do you sleep knowing people don’t like you? ME: Butt ass naked with the fun on high.

I’m not put on this earth to please your sorry ass.

I’m not put on this earth to please your sorry ass.

Life is about kicking ass, not kissing it.

Life is about kicking ass, not kissing it.

REMEMBER no one is perfect. Everyone’s ass has a crack in it.

REMEMBER: No one is perfect. Everyone’s ass has a crack in it.

Some people will only like you if you fit inside their box. Don’t be afraid to shove that box up their ass.

Some people will only like you if you fit inside their box. Don’t be afraid to shove that box up their ass.

If you’re going to be an ass, remember to be a smart one, not a dumb one.

If you’re going to be an ass, remember to be a smart one, not a dumb one.

OH YOU HATE ME? Join the club! They are weekly meeting at the corner of fuck you street and kiss my ass blvd.

OH YOU HATE ME? Join the club! They are weekly meeting at the corner of fuck you street and kiss my ass blvd.club

I have a pretty big ass, so when I half ass something you’re still getting something impressive.

I have a pretty big ass, so when I half ass something you’re still getting something impressive.

Life is all about ass. You’re either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, busting it, trying to get a piece of it, behaving like one, or living with one.

Life is all about ass. You’re either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, busting it, trying to get a piece of it, behaving like one, or living with one.

Don’t half ass anything. Whatever you do, always use your full ass.

Don’t half ass anything. Whatever you do, always use your full ass.

If you’re going to be a smartass, first you have to be smart. Otherwise you’re just an ass.

If you’re going to be a smartass, first you have to be smart. Otherwise you’re just an ass.

Men look at woman’s behind and go “wow! What an ass!” Woman look at man’s face and think the same.

Men look at woman’s behind and go “wow! What an ass!” Woman look at man’s face and think the same.

Every day of my life forces me to add another name to the list of people who can kiss my fucking ass.

Every day of my life forces me to add another name to the list of people who can kiss my fucking ass.

Be careful around ass kissers. They’re always the first to talk shit and start drama.

Be careful around ass kissers. They’re always the first to talk shit and start drama.