Half of my problems are caused by my tone of voice and sarcasm. Everyone thinks I’m either mad, arguing or just an asshole. While actually, I’m just talking.
Grant me the serenity to accept that earth is filled with assholes and fuckery that I cannot change, the courage not to be part of the assholery and fuckery, and the wisdom to know I’m the shit without shitting on others.
Patience is like a toilet roll – the bigger asshole you are dealing with, the quicker it runs out.
I am not an asshole. I am a teller of unfortunate truth.
When someone calls me an “asshole” I get this warm feeling inside because my work here is done.
Not everyone gets the same version of me. One person might tell you I’m amazing beautiful soul. Another person will say I’m cold-hearted asshole. Believe them both, I act accordingly.
Ignoranus: Someone who is both stupid and an asshole.
I hate when I’m starting to become a good person and someone comes and pushes my asshole-mode buttons.
Half of me is a hopeless romantic and the other… well the other is an asshole.
Forgiving you means I no longer dwell on what an asshole you are. It doesn’t mean you are no longer an asshole.