Bird

What the fuck are birds so excited about at 5am?

What the fuck are birds so excited about at 5am?

Sometimes I wish I was a bird... so I could fly over certain people and shit on their heads.

Sometimes I wish I was a bird… so I could fly over certain people and shit on their heads.

You know why birds sing in the morning? Because they don't have to go to fucking work.

You know why birds sing in the morning? Because they don’t have to go to fucking work.

I don't want something really bad to happen to you, but if a bird shit on you, that would be fine.

I don’t want something really bad to happen to you, but if a bird shit on you, that would be fine.

If I was a bird, I know who I’d shit on.

If I was a bird, I know who I’d shit on.

Arguing with idiots is like playing chess with a pigeon. No matter how good you are, the bird is going to shit on the board and strut around like it won anyway.

Arguing with idiots is like playing chess with a pigeon. No matter how good you are, the bird is going to shit on the board and strut around like it won anyway.