What the fuck are birds so excited about at 5am?
Sometimes I wish I was a bird… so I could fly over certain people and shit on their heads.
You know why birds sing in the morning? Because they don’t have to go to fucking work.
I don’t want something really bad to happen to you, but if a bird shit on you, that would be fine.
If I was a bird, I know who I’d shit on.
Arguing with idiots is like playing chess with a pigeon. No matter how good you are, the bird is going to shit on the board and strut around like it won anyway.