Day

Have a great day! Or don’t! No one cares!

Have a great day! Or don’t! No one cares!

If your phone battery lasts all day, it’s because no one likes you.

If your phone battery lasts all day, it’s because no one likes you.

Yeah, it's pretty hard not to be completely cynical these days. - David Byrne

Yeah, it’s pretty hard not to be completely cynical these days. – David Byrne

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. But so was yesterday, and look how that turned out.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. But so was yesterday, and look how that turned out.

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

Every day is Friday when you’re unemployed.

Every day is Friday when you’re unemployed.

One day I’m just gonna say fuck it all. And let my demons out to play

One day I’m just gonna say fuck it all. And let my demons out to play

LIVE TODAY LIKE IT IS YOUR LAST DAY! But pay your bills and use a condom just in case it isn’t.

LIVE TODAY LIKE IT IS YOUR LAST DAY! But pay your bills and use a condom just in case it isn’t.

Shit happens. Every day. To everyone. The difference is in how people deal with it.

Shit happens. Every day. To everyone. The difference is in how people deal with it.

One day I will start behaving myself.. But not today. (Tomorrow’s not looking good either.)

One day I will start behaving myself.. But not today. (Tomorrow’s not looking good either.)

Don’t let anyone else ruin your day. It’s YOUR day. Ruin it yourself.

Don’t let anyone else ruin your day. It’s YOUR day. Ruin it yourself.

Sleep well middle finger, you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

Sleep well middle finger, you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

Dear life, when I said "can my day get any worse" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

Dear life, when I said “can my day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

TIP OF THE DAY: always make sure the phone is 100% hung up before you call someone an asshole.

TIP OF THE DAY: always make sure the phone is 100% hung up before you call someone an asshole.

Holy fuck, I need a vacation, or a winning lottery ticket, or one fucking day with no bullshit. I’d settle for that!

Holy fuck, I need a vacation, or a winning lottery ticket, or one fucking day with no bullshit. I’d settle for that!

The first 5 days after the weekend are the hardest.

The first 5 days after the weekend are the hardest.

Word of the day: EXHAUSTIPATED. Too tired to give a shit.

Word of the day: EXHAUSTIPATED. Too tired to give a shit.

Instead of "Have a nice day" I think I'll start saying "Have the day you deserve". You know, let karma sort that shit out.

Instead of “Have a nice day” I think I’ll start saying “Have the day you deserve”. You know, let karma sort that shit out.

Is there such a thing as a day without bullshit?

Is there such a thing as a day without bullshit?

Just once I would like to make it through an entire day without having WTF moment!!

Just once I would like to make it through an entire day without having WTF moment!!