Drunk is when you feel sophisticated, but can’t pronounce it.
You know nothing about a woman until she’s drunk and mad at you.
Drunk me loves creating awkward situations for sober me.
Childhood: When you didn’t have to be drunk to make stupid decisions.
Don’t ask me stupid questions like, “Are you hungry?” or “Want to get drunk?”
There’s a fine line between saying too much and saying too little. I walk that line like a drunken clown at the circus.
Listen, drunk me and sober me are not the same person. So if drunk me said or did something, you have to take it up with drunk me. Don’t come at sober me. We weren’t there. We don’t know what happened.
To all the adults using colouring books for stress relief, grow the fuck up and get drunk like the rest of us.
Ever looked at your ex and wondered, “was I drunk the entire relationship?”
Never take advice from me. You’ll only end up drunk.