Life

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

Oh my lifestyle offends you? Go hold your breath until I give a damn.

Oh my lifestyle offends you? Go hold your breath until I give a damn.

Why is life testing me so hard lately? I mean I will survive but damn give me a fucking break.

Why is life testing me so hard lately? I mean I will survive but damn give me a fucking break.

When people suck the life out of you, wouldn’t it be nice if they took some fat too?

When people suck the life out of you, wouldn’t it be nice if they took some fat too?

Life is like sex, you can either lay back and let it screw you, or you can get on top and ride the hell out of it.

Life is like sex, you can either lay back and let it screw you, or you can get on top and ride the hell out of it.

When life knocks you down, calmly get back up, smile and very politely say "you hit like a bitch".

When life knocks you down, calmly get back up, smile and very politely say “you hit like a bitch”.

To the people in their twenties who think life sucks, life hasn’t even begun to fuck you yet. Buckle up buttercup!

To the people in their twenties who think life sucks, life hasn’t even begun to fuck you yet. Buckle up buttercup!

Assholes are part of our lives. We can't escape. It is how we deal with them that makes the difference. - Wendy Sellers

Assholes are part of our lives. We can’t escape. It is how we deal with them that makes the difference. – Wendy Sellers

Life is too short to wake up in a bad mood. I save mine for when I get to work.

Life is too short to wake up in a bad mood. I save mine for when I get to work.

Just got a booty call from life. Apparently it wants to keep fucking me.

Just got a booty call from life. Apparently it wants to keep fucking me.

Rude, Sarcastic, Funny Quotes, Thoughts, Sayings

Life is too short to be serious all the time. So, if you can’t laugh at yourself, call me, I’ll laugh at you.

MY LIFE, MY RULES, FUCK OFF!

MY LIFE, MY RULES, FUCK OFF!

Some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts, while others come into our lives and make us wanna leave footprints on their face.

Some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts, while others come into our lives and make us wanna leave footprints on their face.

Life is so much funnier if you have a dirty mind.

Life is so much funnier if you have a dirty mind.

I'm not sure if my life is getting better.. or the amount of fucks I give is declining everyday.

I’m not sure if my life is getting better.. or the amount of fucks I give is declining everyday.

Life is tough, but it’s tougher if you’re stupid.

Life is tough, but it’s tougher if you’re stupid.

THE FOUR STAGE OF LIFE: 1. You believe in Santa Claus, 2. You don't believe in Santa Claus, 3. You are Santa Claus, 4. You look like Santa Claus

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE: 1. You believe in Santa Claus, 2. You don’t believe in Santa Claus, 3. You are Santa Claus, 4. You look like Santa Claus

Life has a tendency of fucking things up when you finally get to be happy.

Life has a tendency of fucking things up when you finally get to be happy.

I've been through hell throughout my life. And my ass just smiled the whole time.

I’ve been through hell throughout my life. And my ass just smiled the whole time.

Life is going to get hard sometimes, so get the fuck up and get your shit together. You are either an ocean or a puddle, don't be a puddle. People walk through puddles like they are nothing. Oceans fucking destroy cities.

Life is going to get hard sometimes, so get the fuck up and get your shit together. You are either an ocean or a puddle, don’t be a puddle. People walk through puddles like they are nothing. Oceans fucking destroy cities.