Men who say women belong in the kitchen obviously don’t know what to do with them in the bedroom.
Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.
BAR and BRA. Same letters, different words, but both keep men eagerly waiting till they open.
How to win the heart of a woman: Kiss her, love her, go to the end of the world for her. How to win the heart of a man: Come naked and carry a pack of beer.
Every woman’s dream is that a man will take her in his arms, throw her into bed, and clean the whole house while she sleeps.
Being a man is not easy. No makeup, no wig, if you’re ugly you just ugly.
All men like to think they’re marrying nymphomaniacs. The problem is, after a few years the nympho leaves and the maniac stays.
Men only have 2 emotions: hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection make him a sandwich.
Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. – George Carlin
Tell people there’s an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. – George Carlin