When a male octopus finds a mate, he rips off his penis and throws it at the female so she can inseminate herself, then he grows a new penis. If that isn’t the most epic way to tell someone to “go fuck yourself” I don’t know what is.
Girls always say they appreciate the little things in life, until you whip out your little penis.
Life is a lot like a penis. Simple, soft, straight, relaxed and hanging freely… then woman makes it hard.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time. – Robin Williams