Someone

Killing someone with kindness sounds like a lot of work to me.

Killing someone with kindness sounds like a lot of work to me.

I want you to know that someone out there cares. Not me, but someone.

I want you to know that someone out there cares. Not me, but someone.

Ignoranus: Someone who is both stupid and an asshole.

Ignoranus: Someone who is both stupid and an asshole.

They don’t discard you for someone better. They discard you for someone who can’t see their bullshit.

They don’t discard you for someone better. They discard you for someone who can’t see their bullshit.

I can look directly at someone, nod when they’re talking, maybe even throw in a "yeah", and still not hear a single word they said.

I can look directly at someone, nod when they’re talking, maybe even throw in a “yeah”, and still not hear a single word they said.

Have you ever just looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning but the hamster was dead?

Have you ever just looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning but the hamster was dead?

If someone you know is stuck in stupid mode, a smack to the back of the head shoud trigger the reset button.

If someone you know is stuck in stupid mode, a smack to the back of the head shoud trigger the reset button.

A lot of us fell in love with someone we should of only fucked once then murdered.

A lot of us fell in love with someone we should of only fucked once then murdered.

Somewhere right now someone is thinking about an excuse not to go to work tomorrow.

Somewhere right now someone is thinking about an excuse not to go to work tomorrow.

Have you ever looked at someone and just imagined holding their head under water? Oh, me neither.

Have you ever looked at someone and just imagined holding their head under water? Oh, me neither.

Ever look at someone and think, "Why has no one hit you with a shovel yet?"

Ever look at someone and think, “Why has no one hit you with a shovel yet?”

Do you ever just wanna grab someone by the shoulders, look them deep in the eyes and whisper "no one gives a shit".

Do you ever just wanna grab someone by the shoulders, look them deep in the eyes and whisper “no one gives a shit”.

When your ex says "you'll never find someone like me!" Reply, "that's the point".

When your ex says “you’ll never find someone like me!” Reply, “that’s the point”.

WE ARE ALL: Ugly to someone, fake to someone, stuck-up to someone, ain’t shit to someone, a loser to someone, a bitch to someone. BUT WHO THE HELL CARES. Make your money, pay your bills, take care of you and your family, and don’t worry what anyone else thinks.

WE ARE ALL: Ugly to someone, fake to someone, stuck-up to someone, ain’t shit to someone, a loser to someone, a bitch to someone. BUT WHO THE HELL CARES. Make your money, pay your bills, take care of you and your family, and don’t worry what anyone else thinks.

If someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, you just look around the room, and answer, "haven't decided yet"

If someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, you just look around the room, and answer, “haven’t decided yet”

We all know someone who speaks fluent shit.

We all know someone who speaks fluent shit.

We’re all being judged by someone who isn’t even close to having their own shit together.

We’re all being judged by someone who isn’t even close to having their own shit together.

One of the best things about getting older: Knowing someone is an asshole before they even speak.

One of the best things about getting older: Knowing someone is an asshole before they even speak.

If someone asks “Are You Crazy?” Simply reply “Yes”. Boom. End of discussion.

If someone asks “Are You Crazy?” Simply reply “Yes”. Boom. End of discussion.

If someone throws a stone at you, throw a flower at them. But remember to throw the flower pot with it.

If someone throws a stone at you, throw a flower at them. But remember to throw the flower pot with it.