Things

If you’re offended by the things I say, imagine the stuff I hold back.

Some things are just best said with an eye roll.

Some trite inspirational quote about overcoming things or some shit. I don’t know. Fuck off.

4 things to quit right now: 1. Trying to please everyone, 2. Fearing a change, 3. Living in the past, 4. Giving fucks.

Drink coffee! Do stupid things faster and with more energy! – Darynda Jones

Sorry for the mean, awful, accurate things I said.

TWO THINGS: 1. Where have you been all my life? 2. Can you please go back there.

Some things are better left unsaid. Which I generally realize right after I have said them.

The best things in life either make you fat, drunk or pregnant.