Wish

Some people make me wish I had more middle fingers.

Some people make me wish I had more middle fingers.

I wish running from my problems would burn calories.

I wish running from my problems would burn calories.

I wish everything was as easy as getting fat.

I wish everything was as easy as getting fat.

According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you’re actually a few million years late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams.

According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you’re actually a few million years late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams.

I wish people were like money, so you could hold them up to the light to see which ones are real and which ones are fake.

I wish people were like money, so you could hold them up to the light to see which ones are real and which ones are fake.

Rude, Sarcastic, Funny Quotes, Thoughts, Sayings

I never wish death upon anyone who wrongs me. I wish for sudden explosive diarrhea while stuck in traffic… with frequent sneezes.

I wish people came with a 30 second trailer. So I can see what I'm getting myself into.

I wish people came with a 30 second trailer. So I can see what I’m getting myself into.

I wish they made SHUT THE FUCK UP spray.

I wish they made SHUT THE FUCK UP spray.

Sometimes I wish I was a bird... so I could fly over certain people and shit on their heads.

Sometimes I wish I was a bird… so I could fly over certain people and shit on their heads.

I wish more people were fluent in silence.

I wish more people were fluent in silence.