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You remind me of my Chinese friend... Ug Lee.
Yeah, I’m a pacifist. I’m about to pass a fist across your face.
Wherever you go there is always going to be that one bitch you will feel the urge to punch in the face every time you see her.
When you're a child you make funny faces at the mirror. In middle age, the mirror gets even.
When someone says "everything happens for a reason" a fun thing to do is punch them in the face and say "this was meant to be".
Treat others the way you want to be treated. Except fuckfaces. Treat them like fuckfaces.
The world will be a better place if you kick an asshole in the face.
The difference between me and most people is the shit everyone else says behind your back, I say it to your face.
Stop telling everybody I’m fucking crazy. I love to see the surprises on their faces when they figure it out by themselves.
Sometimes you just have to close your eyes, count to ten, take a deep breath, remind yourself that you wouldn’t look good in prison stripes and just smile at the dumbass and walk away.
Sometimes you have to remind people you can be an asshole too!
Sometimes you have to be the bigger person and walk away. Other times, you have to be the bigger bitch to remind them who they're dealing with.