Think I am sarcastic? Watch me pretend to care.
If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. I don’t want to give off the wrong impression.
There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it. – Mindy Kaling
Have a great day! Or don’t! No one cares!
Life is like a roller coaster. Sometimes it makes you want to scream, cry or throw up.
Some people will never appreciate the word “FUCK”. Fuck those unappreciative mothefuckers.
There is no problem so big you can’t run away from it. – Charles M. Schulz
I want you to know that someone out there cares. Not me, but someone.
Stop breaking yourself down into bite-sized pieces to serve others. Stay whole and let them choke.
If you’re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they’ll kill you. – Billy Wilder
Yeah, I’m a pacifist. I’m about to pass a fist across your face.
Karma takes too long. I’d rather just beat the crap out of you now.
Don’t confuse a smile with someone baring teeth.
Be the piece of shit you want to be, not the piece of shit everyone thinks you are.
Remember, when somebody annoys you, it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap that face.
You’re never too old to try something stupid.
Smiling give you wrinkles. Resting bitch face keeps you pretty.
Me pretending to listen should be enough for you.
Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because if you don’t, everyone will ask you what’s wrong.
I am no longer following my heart. That bitch gives bad directions.