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I tried to put myself in your shoes but they were cheap and ugly, just like you.

I tried to put myself in your shoes but they were cheap and ugly, just like you.

GRAMMAR: The difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

GRAMMAR: The difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

The shit you heard about me might be true, but then again it might be as fake as that person who told you.

The shit you heard about me might be true, but then again it might be as fake as that person who told you.

I'm beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on your bus don’t go round and round.

I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on your bus don’t go round and round.

I may be a crazy bitch, but at least I am not a basic bitch.

I may be a crazy bitch, but at least I am not a basic bitch.

Getting old is weird because you're still that same enthusiastic kid trapped in a shitshow of a body.

Getting old is weird because you’re still that same enthusiastic kid trapped in a shitshow of a body.

I wish everyone would just tell each other, "It’s ok. I don't know what I'm fucking doing either".

I wish everyone would just tell each other, “It’s ok. I don’t know what I’m fucking doing either”.

Out of all my body parts I feel like my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least a thousand eye rolls a day.

Out of all my body parts I feel like my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least a thousand eye rolls a day.

Ever look at someone and think... “Your Mom’s eggs had to be expired”

Ever look at someone and think… “Your Mom’s eggs had to be expired”

You are beautiful inside and out. Said no one ever.

You are beautiful inside and out. Said no one ever.