Home     Browse     Tags     Random

Switch up your swear words. Keep them potent. Call someone a piece of fuck. Tell someone to go shit themselves. Keep the magic alive.

Switch up your swear words. Keep them potent. Call someone a piece of fuck. Tell someone to go shit themselves. Keep the magic alive.

I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to fuck me up.

I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to fuck me up.

When something is made idiot proof, they will just make better idiots. - Stephen Hawking

When something is made idiot proof, they will just make better idiots. – Stephen Hawking

It’s hard to be a mature adult when you’re surrounded by assholes.

It’s hard to be a mature adult when you’re surrounded by assholes.

Seriously, some of you people need to go to church. I don’t want you in hell with me.

Seriously, some of you people need to go to church. I don’t want you in hell with me.

People keep mistaking my "WOW"s for compliments.

People keep mistaking my “WOW”s for compliments.

Instead of “single” as a marital status, I prefer "independently owned and operated".

Instead of “single” as a marital status, I prefer “independently owned and operated”.

If thought bubbles appeared above my head, I’d be screwed.

If thought bubbles appeared above my head, I’d be screwed.

Forgive and forget? Nah. Fuck you and fuck that.

Forgive and forget? Nah. Fuck you and fuck that.

All I want is the ability to do anything and the freedom to not do anything.

All I want is the ability to do anything and the freedom to not do anything.