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People start shit. Then act like they have no idea how shit got started.

People start shit. Then act like they have no idea how shit got started.

Before sex, you help each other get naked. After sex, you only dress yourself. Moral of the story: in life no one helps you once you’re fucked.

Before sex, you help each other get naked. After sex, you only dress yourself. Moral of the story: in life no one helps you once you’re fucked.

Every family has one weird relative. If you don’t know who it is, then it’s probably you.

Every family has one weird relative. If you don’t know who it is, then it’s probably you.

Always keep your chin up. Otherwise you are just looking at your own boobs all day.

Always keep your chin up. Otherwise you are just looking at your own boobs all day.

Hold your head high, and your middle finger higher.

Hold your head high, and your middle finger higher.

Life is like a dick. Sometimes it's up... Sometimes it's down... But it won't be hard forever.

Life is like a dick. Sometimes it’s up… Sometimes it’s down…But it won’t be hard forever.

Whenever the brain and the heart fight, it's always the liver that suffers.

Whenever the brain and the heart fight, it’s always the liver that suffers.

Before we work on artificial intelligence why don't we do something about natural stupidity? - Steve Polyak

Before we work on artificial intelligence why don’t we do something about natural stupidity? – Steve Polyak

Some days, the supply of available curse words is insufficient to meet my demands.

Some days, the supply of available curse words is insufficient to meet my demands.

Behind every man is a woman resisting the urge to choke him.

Behind every man is a woman resisting the urge to choke him.