Home     Browse     Tags     Store

I made it through the day without beating anyone with a chair. I’d say my people skills are improving.

I made it through the day…

The nicer you are, the easier you’re hurt. So, just be an assole.

The nicer you are…

My “give a fuck” is still broken but my “go fuck yourself” is fully functional.

My “give a fuck”…

I'm trying to be a more positive person every day. Today, I'm positive everyone is an asshole.

I’m trying to be…

Smoking a cigarette reduces life by 5 min. Laughing increases life by 10 min. A laughing smoker never dies.

Smoking…

I’m at the age where fuck you, fuck off, and fuck that answer almost every question I’m asked.

I’m at the age…

If you dream big enough, anything can come true. Just kidding. Get back to work.

If you dream big…

Some people need a shock collar and I need the remote.

Some people need…

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I don’t want to hit you in the face.

Just because I’m smiling…

I have a pretty big ass, so when I half ass something you’re still getting something impressive.

I have a pretty big ass…