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Act

You should wear a condom on your head. Because If you are going to act like a dick, you might as well dress like one.

You should wear…

You never realize how weird you are until you have a kid, who acts just like you.

You never realize…

Act my age? What the fuck is that “act my age?” What do I care how old I am? The ocean is old as fuck. It will still drown your ass with vigor.

Act my age?…

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. - Bryan White

We never really grow up…

People say I act like I don't give a fuck. Motherfuckers... I'm not acting.

People say…

Don't act like you never waddled across the house to get a new roll of toilet paper with your pants around your ankles.

Don’t act…

I was taught to think before I act, so if I smack the shit out of you, rest assured, I've thought about it, and am confident in my decision.

I was taught to think…

If you want to be remembered, don’t act nice. Act like an asshole. Nobody forgets assholes.

If you want to be remembered…

Before you speak, listen. Before you act, think. Before you give up try. Before you take a shit, make sure there is toilet paper.

Before you speak…

People start shit. Then act like they have no idea how shit got started.

People start shit…